Ten Reasons Not to Vote Today

The Point John Stonestreet

“Everyone should vote,” or so they say. I disagree. Here are ten reasons why you should not vote today:

  1. If your main reason for registering to vote was “cash and cigs.”
  2. If you can identify a picture of Judge Judy, but not Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
  3. If you don’t know who selected Sarah Palin as their running mate,
  4. If your main source of political information is Saturday Night Live, late night TV stand-up, Bill Maher, Steve Colbert, The View, or Keith Olbermann. (However, if you actually are informed but still enjoyed Tina Fey’s spot on Palin impersonation, it’s ok to vote).
  5. If you think Republicans and Democrats should come together, but have no clue why they should, how they can, what they should accomplish, or even who they are.
  6. If the reason you give for your selection of the next leader of the free world is any of the following: (a) “I just like him better,” (b) “He seems more presidential,” (c) “He is a better speaker than the other guy,” (d) “He speaks to my needs” or (e) “He’s just so inspiring.”
  7. If, during this election, you have never asked yourself of any political candidate, including your own, this question: “What did he really mean by that?” and “Is that true?” Or, in other words, if you cannot tell the difference between an assertion and an argument.
  8. If you think that the reporting of this election has been unbiased.
  9. If you are not familiar with any or all of the following, or if you have heard of them but have no clue what/who they are: (1) Roe v. Wade, (2) Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, (3) Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, (4) Vladimir Putin, (5) the $700B bailout, (6) the Supreme Court, or (7) the United Nations.
  10. If you really think that “every opinion counts,” including those that are stupid, uninformed, and dangerous.

And, two more for good measure:

  1. If you feel there is no difference between the presidential candidates.
  2. If you think voting is your “right,” without remembering how you got it, why you have it, and what “responsibilities” are.