Daily, as a child and adolescent psychiatrist, I see young people who are so unsure of who they are and the world they live in that they inflict harm on themselves and others. Mental health has become an arena not just of severe mental illness, but, I believe, of a lack of security, identity, belonging, purpose, and competence. Working with young people in this field, I see this in the form of depression and anxiety, and also gender dysphoria.1 Fifteen years ago, gender dysphoria was considered extremely rare. Now, however, ten to twenty percent of my clients endorse some variety of gender confusion.
Children and teens abandon their given names, use various pronouns, and begin to dress in ways that would not have previously been culturally appropriate for their gender. They decry anyone who uses an incorrect pronoun or “deadnames” them; these events can even lead them to self-harm or aggression. Some wear constricting items (for example, females wearing chest binders) that cause significant discomfort and potential damage to their bodies to try to conceal the way they were made. Others begin taking medications to alter the appearance of their gender. Sadly, a few make it as far as surgical removal of unwanted healthy body parts in an effort to pass as someone they are not—all because there is such confusion in our world, and sin has clouded their understanding of who they were created to be. As these young people deserve our love and respect as fellow image-bearers, I work with them with humility and compassion, and pray that they will one day encounter the reality of who God made them, “fearfully and wonderfully” (Psalm 139:14).
From a mental health practitioner’s perspective, while I do not believe gender is a spectrum, I do think that gender dysphoria is a spectrum. Some children (and adults) identify as something on the “gender identity spectrum” because it allows them a sense of belonging to a very welcoming group or gives them status in their environment, whether at school, online, or in a social group. The allure of this identification may not even be something the person consciously chooses; instead, they may become convinced that they fit into this group. The arguments online may seem convincing. Others may feel that they do not fit the cultural understanding of how their gender should be lived out or expressed, or that they do not “fit” in the gender they are. Out of this feeling of discomfort, they may determine that they are truly not that gender and choose a different gender identity. The original definition and understanding of transgenderism in psychiatry no longer seems to fit with many of those who identify as gender non-conforming or transgender.
As parents, we do not want to see our children struggle. And if they have begun down this path of gender confusion, we want to bolster their understanding of the truth and pray they return to a true understanding of who they are.
If we are armed with a biblical worldview and an understanding of reality based in God’s Word, we will be able to offer an anchor in this cultural storm.
Providing our children with a solid foundation to stand on in this tumultuous world may be our most important calling as parents.
We can begin building our worldview by looking to God’s Word for guidance in this effort. From the very beginning (Genesis 1:26–27, 5:1–2), we see that God created human beings as male and female, and both are made in his image. Gender is given by God and is part of the creation that he calls “very good” (Genesis 1:31). In Genesis 3, Adam and Eve succumb to the temptation of sin—As a result, all of creation comes under the curse of the fall. The outcome is that the “very good” creation is twisted and broken by sin. We observe the effects of sin throughout the rest of history. In Romans 1, Paul describes that sinners “suppress the truth” (v. 18) and “became futile in their thinking” (v. 21). Because of the fall, we have exchanged the truth of our Creator for a lie.
This may seem like a depressing place to be, but the truths in Scripture can offer our families hope. Jesus told us, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly” (John 10:10). As we ground our children in capital T Truth, we can be confident that we are guiding them towards a full life.
The world suggests that we can choose to be whoever we want, and that this is liberating, but a biblical worldview sees that living within the bounds of the way we were created is the path to true freedom.
In Psalm 139:14, we see that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made” by a God who knows everything about us. God created each one of us with intention and with specific features, including our gender. He knew us before we were born. He chose to create us as males or females, and this, too, is good. But in a world full of sin, people can become confused about even such a basic thing as this. To avoid the lies of the world, we must teach our children to follow God’s ways (Proverbs 3:5-6). Instructing our children, from a young age, in the truth of Scripture and creation will help us guard their hearts against the lies of this fallen world.
One passage of Scripture that I have found especially helpful is Genesis 5:1-2. Interestingly, the language used here is very similar to that of Genesis 1:26-27, yet it is reiterated after the Fall. This suggests that we can rely on the reality God created to persist, even amidst the confusion caused by sin. When we help boys and girls, men and women, recognize their God-given place in this world, we are guiding them to live in Truth. We help people align their desires, feelings, lives, and actions with the way God designed them. Although sin has distorted the world and complicated life, we can lead people into true life—the good life—as God originally intended it.
Do you want to dive deeper into this subject? If you’re confused by today’s messages about gender and identity, you’re not alone, and we’re here to journey with you.
If you’re looking for a practical, biblically grounded resource that helps parents guide their children toward a positive understanding of their gender, check out Raising Gender-Confident Kids: Helping Kids Embrace Their God-Given Design by Dr. Jeff Myers and Dr. Kathy Koch. Also, be sure to check out Summit’s latest podcast, Upside-Down Parenting, where we explore what it looks like to raise your kids according to Jesus’ transformative, upside-down, countercultural way of life.