The Christian life contains many vital disciplines, like studying God’s Word, fasting, and gathering together for corporate worship. One of the most challenging may be maintaining a healthy prayer life. We’re busy. We don’t know what to say. Maybe we were never taught how to pray. This poses an extra challenge for Christian parents trying to raise their children in the faith. We’d like to offer some tips to help teach your children to pray.
Caught, Not Taught
The Lord’s Prayer is likely the most familiar Christian prayer. Luke’s account of Jesus teaching this prayer to his disciples begins like this: “One day Jesus was praying in a certain place. When he finished, one of his disciples said to him, ‘Lord, teach us to pray, just as John taught his disciples’” (Luke 11:1, NIV). You may have heard the saying that much of what we learn is caught, not taught. We pick things up without realizing it. We copy what others model. Jesus’ disciples “caught” him praying, and that’s what led them to ask him to teach them how to pray. The same will be true for us. Our kids naturally copy us, whether it’s trying on our shoes or following us as we mow the lawn. Knowing that their little eyes are always watching should lead us to be more intentional with how we act in front of them. This includes our prayer life. If your kids see and hear you praying, they will be more likely to pray. It will become commonplace to them.
Our kids naturally copy us, whether it’s trying on our shoes or following us as we mow the lawn
Prayer is important
Before we can teach a child how to pray, we must show them that it’s important to pray. Children thrive on routines, from the moment they wake until they go to sleep at night. Build prayer routines into the day. Say family prayers at meals and before bed. Teach them that prayer is as essential as brushing their teeth and taking baths. Eventually, your kids will start reminding you to pray for them when tucking them in at night, just in case you forget.
Invite Them to Participate
We teach children how to perform chores by inviting them to do them alongside us, whether it’s drying the dishes or raking leaves. We can do the same with prayer. You can ask your child to give a simple prayer for dinner one night a week (“God is great, God is good. Let us thank him for our food.”). Ask for prayer requests at bedtime. It could be simple, like praying for their friend who went home sick from school or for God to help them do their best on tomorrow’s test. As kids get older, they’ll want guidance in dating and selecting a career. When we teach them to seek God in the little things, they learn to petition him for the big things.
Speaking for Themselves
Children need to learn to speak up for themselves. We start by encouraging them to order their own meals at restaurants, answer the telephone, or discuss their grades directly with their teachers. Just as parents start “giving” their children their lives and teaching them to be independent, our kids must take ownership of their faith. God isn’t just Mommy and Daddy’s God; he’s their God too. Parents will always pray for their children, but kids must learn to pray for themselves. They can give God their problems and fears, along with their praise and thanksgiving. Our children are never too young to learn to bring their needs to God. After all, Jesus did say, “Let the little children come to me” (Matthew 19:14).
Saying Sorry
Part of prayer is asking God for forgiveness for our sins. We teach our children how to say “I’m sorry” when they’ve done something wrong. They should do the same to God. The Bible tells us, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). We model this for our children when we forgive them for their mistakes, showing them mercy and grace. This will help teach them that they can also expect forgiveness from God when they repent of their sins.
When God Says “No”
A good parent knows when to say “yes” and when to say “no.” The same is true of God. Prayer isn’t a magic formula to get whatever we want from God. He may not always answer our prayers the way we hope he would, but he will respond the way that’s best. Remind your kids that you don’t always give them everything they want right when they want it. You know what’s best for them and will always act in their best interest. Sometimes that involves saying “no,” or “not yet.” The same is true of God. God has a good reason for all that he allows us to endure, and that includes the prayers that he does not answer. Prayer is an act of faith, and we must always trust that God will do what’s best. That includes being told “no.”
He may not always answer our prayers the way we hope he would, but he will respond the way that’s best
Also, our prayers can sometimes be selfish or misguided. James 4:3 warns that “You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.” If our children needed money for a school field trip, we would give it to them willingly. But if they asked us for money to spend on something frivolous—or even harmful—we’d say no. In the same way, we and our children might believe our prayers come from good intentions. But God sees what we can’t. He knows the future perfectly and understands when something that seems good to us would actually harm us in the long run.
Good Gifts
Similarly, we must teach our kids that God wants to give us good things. Jesus taught that the same way that sinful, imperfect parents “know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!” (Matthew 7:11). He longs to bless us, to show us his love and mercy. All we need to do is ask. The Bible teaches, “And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him” (1 John 5:14–15). This should give us the confidence to go to God with our needs. But we cannot overlook the key phrase in those verses, that we ask “according to his will.” When our children ask for good things—things that match what we know is best for them—we gladly provide. God responds the same way with us.
These are just a few tips to help teach our children how to pray. Prayer doesn’t have to be complicated or eloquent. It should be sincere. Point them to the Lord’s Prayer, which begins “Our Father.” That’s who God is. Just as your children come to you with their desires and fears, they can also go to their heavenly Father.