In today’s episode, we’re honored to welcome Dr. Matt and Cathy Jones, a couple whose wisdom runs deep. They’ll share some intentional decisions, daily rhythms, and faith-filled commitments that helped their three kids grow up confident in who God made them to be. No parent gets it all right, but Matt and Cathy offer hard-earned insight for anyone wanting to raise kids secure in their God-given identity.
Dr. Jeff and Dr. Kathy’s newest book, Raising Gender-Confident Kids, is written to come alongside parents with biblical wisdom, practical guidance, and real-life examples. It isn’t a book just for families in crisis—it’s for every mom and dad who wants their children to embrace God’s good design with joy and courage. Get your free copy at genderconfidentkids.com.
For more practical, biblically based resources for parents, check out Summit.org/parents.
Episode 6: Summary & Transcript
Disclaimer: Please note that this is an automatically generated transcript. Although the transcription is largely accurate, it may be incomplete or inaccurate in some cases due to inaudible passages or transcription errors.
Episode Summary
This episode of the Upside Down Parenting Podcast features Dr. Matt Jones and his wife Cathy sharing their approach to discussing identity, sexuality, and gender with their three children. The couple emphasizes creating an environment where kids feel comfortable asking questions, establishing intentional family rhythms like “mirror time” (where children affirm who made them and why), and teaching children their identity in Christ from an early age. They discuss the importance of parents being willing to sacrifice for their children’s wellbeing, differentiating parental roles, and the value of educating and exposing children to reality rather than simply indoctrinating them. Key takeaways include the importance of parents prioritizing their own spiritual formation, establishing clear family priorities, and being willing to go against cultural norms when necessary to raise children with a biblical worldview.
Episode Transcript
Aaron Atwood (00:00):
Welcome to the Upside Down Parenting Podcast from Summit Ministries. As parents, life can be overwhelming, sometimes just completely confusing, and really sort of feel upside down. And that’s why we’re here together because we want to walk into confidence and clarity and we want to do that together. So I hope this podcast is helpful for you and subscribe to it so that you don’t miss a conversation.
I’m really excited about today’s episode because we are honored to welcome Dr. Matt Jones and his wife Cathy. A couple whose wisdom runs deep and whose experiences are perfect for a day like today. They’ll share some intentional decisions, daily rhythms and faith field commitments that helped their kids grow up confident in who God made them to be. No parent gets it all right, but Matt and Cat have some hard earned insight to share with all of us, and I’m joined by my co-host Katie Bertford. Katie, you have a long time experience with Summit. Why don’t you tell our listeners a little about yourself?
Katie Bergford (01:05):
I’m so glad to be with you all today. I have had the privilege of serving as our Colorado program manager at Summit Ministries for three years, and then prior to that, worked on summer staff, was a student at Summit, and I love this place so much.
In addition to that, I am now a mom. I have a 10 month old son named Caleb, and my husband and I are loving entering into this stage of parenting, which is why this podcast is really important to my heart too and why I’m excited to be here today. My husband Noah also works for Summit and as a couple and a family, we are thrilled to be a part of the mission that’s happening here.
In addition, I was a Colorado Christian University graduate and I got to sit under Dr. Jones’ teaching at CCU. And so I’m so glad to have this conversation with Dr. Jones and his lovely wife Cat today. So I’m going to pull them in now. Would love to hear you guys introduce yourselves and share with the audience a little bit about you.
Dr. Matt Jones (02:14):
Aaron and Katie, thanks for having us on. As they mentioned, I’m Dr. Matt Jones. I’m an associate professor at Colorado Christian University. I’ve been there about 20 years. I also have been working with Summit for about five years. Actually, Summit’s been so gracious to see the value in Cathy and I doing this together, and so we really appreciate what Summit does stands for and how they are attempting to work with parents to help walk alongside them in this really incredibly fun but also difficult phase of parenting.
And before we get going, it’s by the grace of God that my wife and I are here. And one of my favorite passages is Isaiah 1:2. It says, hear oh heaven and give ear oh Earth for the Lord has spoken. Children I have reared and brought up, but they have rebelled against me. And I’m like, God’s a perfect parent. We are not perfect parents and people still rebel. So we hope that what Cat and I have some insights on and experiences on maybe some encouragement and challenge for you today. Cat?
Cathy Jones (03:24):
Super. Hey, I’m Cat Jones and I graduated from the University of Delaware in the early nineties with degrees in early childhood development and elementary education, and it was also there on the University of Delaware campus that I placed my faith in Jesus as my savior as an 18-year-old. So college students are just so near and dear to our hearts. Matt and I have been married a long time and we love partnering together, together. I love being involved in his work and ministry with college students both at CCU and during the summers at Summit Ministries. We’re parents of three teens slash young adults ages 17, 19, and 21.
Dr. Matt Jones (04:11):
It’s our odd year.
Cathy Jones (04:12):
Yes, we planned that.
Dr. Matt Jones (04:14):
Yeah, next year will be the even year.
Cathy Jones (04:17):
And I currently spend my portions of my day as a nanny to three very little children and two rowdy dogs. And I just look at my life as much of it has been spent working closely with children, college students and families. And so appreciate the invitation to be here with you guys today.
Katie Bergford (04:37):
Wonderful. Well, we are so glad to have you both to jump into this conversation about identity, sexuality, gender, and how to introduce that to our children. Thank you guys for coming and sharing your wisdom on this. So let’s jump in with our first question. How did you begin the conversation about identity, sexuality, and gender with your three kids?
Dr. Matt Jones (05:04):
Yeah, that’s a good question. It actually started with an event that would be embarrassing to our children, but it was an event where they were capable of recognizing, wait, there are differences between male and female. And as a result it really kind of initiated not only that we needed to be intentional, but we had to do some intentional changes even in our home. Did you want to describe the home situation or?
Cathy Jones (05:35):
Yeah, at that time, Matt was working at CCU and we lived in an apartment that was less than 900 square feet. So we’re talking a two bedroom, or one-ish, a two bedroom apartment on the very small side. So we shared one room and the three shared the other room. And so one evening as everybody’s getting ready for bed, of course we have company out in the living room and the little fiasco begins and the kids all of a sudden determine that yes, there are differences between little boys and little girls.
And so the very next day we sat down as a group, as we often do, we tend to move as a pack. And we had the conversation with them that we have been created differently, not just physically, but in many ways. But this was of course in terms of being physically created differently. And our son then got to have our bedroom. So that very next day we moved his stuff into our room, set up the girls in the existing room.
And that was when Matt and I really began to understand that as parents in this culture, we personally would sacrifice quite a bit. And that’s kind of a challenge that we put out there is how willing are you to sacrifice as you teach your children? So our bedroom, do you want to describe our bedroom?
Dr. Matt Jones (07:12):
Well, it essentially became Tyler’s bedroom, and then we bought a futon and ended up in the living room for about two years. So that was interesting having the kids and they would say, why are we doing this again? Well, we want you to recognize that boys and girls are different, and we’re establishing that even in the bedrooms. And if you’re able to do that, great. If you’re not, you may have to do some more intentional things. But that was our solution to recognize that, make a change, and then be able to have discussion about that.
Cathy Jones (07:47):
And I think also because of that occurring, at that point, Matt and I realized we were going to choose to be very transparent, very vulnerable, and of course willing to be sacrificial and also available.
Dr. Matt Jones (08:06):
We started trying to establish that kids, you can ask whatever question you want. You do not need to be embarrassed, sexuality, gender, they’re gifts from God, and you need to have the freedom to ask questions. And we’ve gotten some doozies over the years as the children have gotten older.
Katie Bergford (08:25):
That’s great. Thanks for sharing that. I’d be curious. So it sounds like you had the confidence to engage with your kids by making it an open conversation. What would you say to a parent who feels maybe inadequate and is nervous to begin those conversations with their kids?
Dr. Matt Jones (08:44):
Watch the podcast. No. I mean, that’s part of it, right? I mean, utilizing the resources that you have, that is so important to utilize the resources you have. My wife and I have recognized that we’re not designed to do parenting alone. In other words, we have been very fortunate over the years to have some folks that have had some great insight on children and raising children.
The other thing too is I think that’s been a real benefit for us, and maybe this doesn’t connect directly with your question Katie, but Kat grew up in a non-Christian home and I grew up in a Christian home. And so our kids have become aware of, listen, we even come from different backgrounds and have had to have difficult conversations with one another. And sometimes they’ve been with the kids there as a family group and other times they’ve been apart.
(09:45):
And so utilize the resources, recognize there’s not a perfect way to do it, but I think it’s important for your kids to be able to ask their parents really whatever question they want to ask. And because on top of that, I think we see in scripture, God gives his authors through this inspiration of spirit, the ability to ask. Now, God doesn’t always answer, but I read the Psalms and I read Habakkuk and they’re asking some pretty significant questions about who God is.
And if we’re reflecting, excuse me, if we’re called to reflect the character and priorities of God himself, if he’s given us the freedom to ask questions, I think we as parents need to give our kids the freedom to ask questions and reserve the right to say, you know what? This is not the time to have that question answered. You can ask that again when you’re later, or we just give them snippets.
Because the other thing too is we’re of the conviction that the conversation about sexuality and gender with a 4-year-old is much different than a 12-year-old. And while the principles are still in place, that conversation between a 12-year-old is different than an 18-year-old and then an 18-year-old is different than whenever you have a kid that’s about to get married. So do you have anything to add to that? I felt like I went on a trail there.
Cathy Jones (11:07):
I think for me being maybe the quieter parent that would be more timid and just be sort of, oh, I’m not really in my element here. I think for me, the most helpful thing is thinking toward the future in terms of God has given me these children for a purpose, and I just embrace that and I think that helps the nervousness go away. I also remind myself they need to ask the questions. I don’t need to give them a sermon.
(11:47):
So it’s based on you just keep asking the question. I’ll give you a little bit. And then the other thing I thought of was just being honest. I will look at my kids, whether they were four, fourteen, or now, just the other day with my son, I looked at him and I said, go ahead. I said, I’ll shut my eyes while you ask the question because I’m probably going to be embarrassed. And we just get it out there and we use the words that are appropriate and we ask the hard questions. And sometimes I just giggle and I’m honest with them and say, oh, this is really awkward, but go for it.
Katie Bergford (12:27):
Yeah, that’s good. That’s so helpful to have that lens of wanting to be honest, open, and as a parent, you are helping them see reality. You’re showing them this is the way that the world is. So having those open conversations is a key way to invite them into reality and help them thrive. So that’s good. Okay. I know that your family has taken time to intentionally build rhythms in your life to help your kids understand their identity. Can you share a little bit about that? What are some rhythms and practices that have helped reinforce your kids’ identity in Christ over time?
Dr. Matt Jones (13:08):
Why don’t you start with that one and then I’ll share the other exact one.
Cathy Jones (13:12):
Matt and I knew going into marriage, this was something we discussed before we were even married, that as much as we could, we would have one parent be a stay-at-home parent, depending on circumstances, depending on location, situation, whatever. We would try to base our budget on one income as much as we could. And with that was the priority that you had a parent that was home and aware that had the wiggle room, the bandwidth to take on whatever was going on in terms of conversations.
So many times I would be at home and then I would give Matt the Cliff’s notes version or the spark version of, okay, this is what went on today. I need you to come home prepared to enter into this situation rather than both of us coming home at the end of the day and just not really knowing maybe what was happening.
Dr. Matt Jones (14:16):
Yeah, that was a great rhythm for her. The other thing too was having worked with college students for 20 years and not at that point, I’d been about 10, 15 at that point, I realized that identity was a huge issue, and I tried to figure out, okay, what’s a regular practice that I can be a part of? Or we can teach some kids, our kids, some foundational truths about identity and who God’s created.
And just an idea came to me and I don’t know how much conversation we had about it, but what happened is we created this thing called mirror time. At the end of each bath, I was responsible for giving baths at night, I would wrap the kids up in a towel and I would hold ’em in front of a mirror, and then we’d go through this mantra per se, where I’m asking this question, and the kid would respond.
(15:07):
And at the age of I think one and a half, two, as soon as I could start using the words, we would go through this and I would say, all right, who made you? And the kid would say, God. And then I would say, well, why would he do such a thing? And the kid would say, for his glory, 2-year-old, that’s for his glory. And then I would say, so you can do what? And the kid would say, enjoy him forever. And then we would say, well, how did God make you? And then they would say, fearfully and wonderfully. And then I would say, what Psalm is that from? And at that point, when they were real young, they couldn’t say 139, so they would just say nine. I would go one-thirty and they would go nine.
Katie Bergford (15:49):
Cute.
Dr. Matt Jones (15:50):
And we would yell this and do this right after bathtime, and then we would at the top of our lungs go, amen. And this 800 square foot apartment, and hopefully one of the points was that first of all, saying amen means God, make it so or let it be.
(16:12):
But second of all, what our hope was was first of all, listen, there’s an identity, there’s a purpose. There’s fearfully and wonderfully made, but you need to remember that when you look at the mirror because it can be one of the more intimidating things that you face in life. But also, hopefully whenever they stand before the mirror, whenever they’re older, they’ll remember that and they won’t compare themselves to who they see on television. They won’t compare themselves to who they’re beside in the classroom. They won’t compare themselves to what they see in social media.
They’ll say, wait a minute, by the grace of God, I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am here to glorify God and enjoy him forever. And there are a lot of lessons that come from that we would like them to learn, but ultimately one of the things we let them know is God created you the way you are, and for you to experience life, you need to live with that within that creation, within that identity.
It’s funny, maybe I can send you that picture at some point, Katie, but my daughter drew it in her Bible, and I actually use that in class now to say that at some point it grasps their heart. Now whether or not they apply it, we can’t control, but we’ve taught ’em that and it’s been a huge blessing to our kids and quite a few other people.
Katie Bergford (17:34):
That’s wonderful. That makes me want to start doing that with my son. Yeah. Did you guys have any other?
Dr. Matt Jones (17:39):
We can talk. Yeah, now we don’t do it anymore because it’s a little too old for that after bath time, but anyway. Okay.
Aaron Atwood (17:50):
Bummer. My oldest or my youngest is nine. I was thinking, I wonder if I could still pull that off. I haven’t started yet, but I wonder if I could, my 18-year-old might be a little bit of a challenge, but maybe I can sneak it in another way.
Cathy Jones (18:03):
I wonder with a 9-year-old, if when you’re transporting whatever to or from school or to gymnastics or sports, just in the mirror in the car and just, I think it’s about sometimes we say the words before we understand the concept.
(18:27):
And for my kids, they just repeat it. We ran into a student just this morning here at Summit and told them what we were doing, and he said, oh, are you going to teach them about mirror time? And so this is a college student that was in a class that now remembers this, and we just prayed that learning those key phrases will have a long-term effect on people.
Dr. Matt Jones (18:53):
The other thing we would do every once in a while is we would have family devotions, and usually they were, admittedly, they were more responsive than proactive. In other words, our kids, they went to public school and there would be issues come up and we’d say, okay, let’s sit down. Let’s read a book or two. Let’s engage and then say, all right, what does our family believe about this? What does, first of all, it’s God’s word. Say, what does our family believe about this? How can we interact with these issues? And it’s been really productive.
Sometimes I lead it, sometimes Cat leads it. What’s really cool is when our kids were old enough, they would read the chapter and then they would lead it. And so all five of us had different responsibilities, and that was actually not actually, but that was Cat’s idea. Hey Matt, I think they need to hear less from you because you can be more, right, Cat, you’re absolutely right. And giving them the opportunity to lead those at different phases has been really, really cool. So yeah, I think that’s good on that one. Anything else you want to, no?
Katie Bergford (20:06):
Good. That’s great. I love hearing that. It seems like by incorporating rhythms in your family practices, it’s not always that that’s the conversation about sexuality or something, but it’s those small things that are teaching your kids you are loved. God made you really beautifully and reinforcing those that then totally come into play when we’re having more conversations about identity, sexuality, gender, but it’s those small things that add up that give them the confidence over time. So yeah, that’s good.
Cathy Jones (20:46):
There are two phrases that we kind of put into that also. One of them is, love God, love others, make disciples. And so that’s something that we repeated to our kids and have had them repeat back to us again since they were tiny. And exactly like you were saying, Katie, when those opportunities came up, if we were in a difficult situation, how do we love God right now? How do we love others? Are we making disciples in this moment? And it just kind of helped reshift. So that’s the more serious one.
And then the other one that we just love is, you are not the belly button of the universe. Just finding whatever phrase it is that your family seems to need. And because mostly because of Matt’s very exuberant personality, we do have three exuberant teens, young adults, and there have been many times where early on we had to say, you are not the belly button of the universe. But then we would expand on that and they would understand that. And now when they’re interacting and in different situations, I think it’s playing in their head as they’re looking at other people and going, man, you are not the belly button of the universe.
Dr. Matt Jones (22:04):
Or sometimes one of our kids will say something and the other kid will say, hey, you’re not the belly button of the universe, and it’s just fun. But we’ve actually modeled that and maybe that’s come back up.
Katie Bergford (22:16):
Yeah, that’s good. And it’s those things that are in contradiction to the worldview that is happening in our culture where actually people think, I am the belly button of the universe. The world revolves around me. Everyone needs to bow to my feelings. They need to respond to what I say about whether it’s gender or just anything. So actually saying I’m not the belly button of the universe does go against some of the ideology that we see in the world right now and reinforce like, okay, yes, you are not the belly button of the universe simultaneously. God loves you. So it’s both of those things.
Dr. Matt Jones (23:00):
And that’s where Katie, and we don’t want to get too ahead of ourselves, but I mean that’s been a huge emphasis working at Colorado Christian, got some great students there, and we’ve been surprised over the years at the number of students who come into our office. They’re either the next to last kid or the last kid, and they come into my office and they’re just in tears because they find out their parents are getting a divorce, and we just want to say that we know that just you waiting doesn’t reduce the pain. As a parent, the kids really hurt.
And we have found that we said, all right, part of this, you’re not the belly bunny of the universe, is God has been centering our family, working in and through Cat. And I, hopefully by the grace of God and my wife and I have established values and priorities, and we’ve said, okay, here’s how our kids fit into those rather than we center our world around the kids, then they leave and then we don’t know what to do as a couple, we’re super excited. We love our kids, but we are super excited about their next phase of life because they’re being launched and we’re trying to launch them not only in values, but also identity, sexuality and their understanding of how God created them.
Cathy Jones (24:25):
And as they’re launched, then we get to go on to what God has for us in our next phase of life, rather than sitting there going, oh, I don’t even know you. That’s great.
Katie Bergford (24:38):
I’d love to hear from you guys about were there unique ways you interacted with your kids as a father versus you, Cat, as their mother?
Dr. Matt Jones (24:48):
We’re trying to impart to our kids that they have, well, I’ll say it like this. We’re preparing them for roles for the future.
Katie Bergford (24:57):
Yes.
Dr. Matt Jones (24:58):
In other words, so whenever Tyler was growing up, there were times when I was working on my PhD where I would have to go out of town and while he’s five, six years old, I would say, okay, Ty, even though you’re five or six years old, it is your job to look out for your mom and your sisters.
(25:16):
Here’s two things I want you to do. I want you to be responsible for making sure all the doors are locked at night, and I want you to make sure that all the lights but one are off. And so you are protecting by making sure the doors are locked. And of course, Cat can sneak up back behind after he is in bed and make sure he’s done it. But establishing Tyler, you are a protector and provider, and that doesn’t mean the Cat’s not a protector or provider either, but that’s emphasized with Tyler.
The other thing that we would do is anytime we had a family trip where we go on a road or be on an airplane, I would always ask Tyler to pray for our trip. I did not ask the daughters to reinforce, and there’s nothing wrong with asking the daughters, but we would reinforce, son, you are being trained to look out for your family, and then I’ll throw in one more and then you can talk about what you did.
And then I would definitely take the daughters on daddy-daughter dates, sometimes the two of us and me sometimes just the one-on-one, and try to make sure I open the door, try to make sure I pay, try to make sure, hey, here’s how you’re to be treated. Even saying, hey, man, I hold your hand, asking if I could hold the daughter’s hand while we would go on a walk together to show, hey, your body is God’s and you need to give permission to people before they touch you. You understand what I’m saying there?
Cathy Jones (26:47):
Yeah. Got it. That leads into also, he would do the daddy daughter dates and then, which really were as simple sometimes as taking them to the donut shop in the morning and where they would get dodos.
(27:02):
That’s how they used to say it. We’re going to go get a dodo with daddy. And so nothing has to be, nothing that we’re saying is meant to be complicated. It’s meant to be very practical within whatever your circumstances are. My form of connecting with Tyler has always been, I want him to know how to treat a girl, a lady, a woman, in the right manner. And so again, when he was 5, 6, 7 years old, we would go to Macaroni Grill, I think, and it was his role to order my food. He would order his food, he would pull my chair out, he’d offer me the napkin. We’d have a lot of fun with it. It wasn’t this serious thing. He’d usually shake it out like a tablecloth or something.
Then he would communicate with the server and have conversation there because that’s love God, love others, make disciples. So we’re hitting all things there. And then at the end, I would hand him the credit card or the cash and he would do the process. He wasn’t expected to cover my meal, but he was growing to learn, this is how you take care of somebody on a date. And now that’s really cool, it’s so cool, Katie.
(28:25):
The really cool thing is I love eating out with my son now because he will not let me pay. He has taken it. He’s got his 30 hour a week summer job, and he loves treating others, and I am hoping that he’s seen how his dad treats me and he’s picked up on that. And then I’ve also encouraged him and vice versa with the girls, as far as me with the girls, it’s a lot more intentional conversation.
Dr. Matt Jones (28:54):
Longer conversations.
Cathy Jones (28:56):
Coffee by the bucket load. You just got to be there with these girls. And just pulling from scripture, trying to have conversations about purity, reverence, respect, inner beauty, lots of conversations about their beauty in the world we live in, especially with social media and those things, we actually work with our kids to learn how to use social media responsibly.
Dr. Matt Jones (29:28):
If at all.
Cathy Jones (29:30):
If at all, they’re very, very large restrictions, but we are very keen on experiencing a lot within our home with our kids, so that then when they leave for college or work or go get married, they’re not all of a sudden trying out all this stuff.
Katie Bergford (29:48):
Yeah. Yeah. That’s good. Great. Well, as a final question, I would love to just hear from you. If you were, as you’re talking to other parents who are wanting to engage in intentional conversations with their kids, what would be some final encouragement that you would give to a parent of any stage? Maybe they have young kids, maybe they have older kids, but they feel a little bit hesitant about these conversations. How would you want to encourage them?
Cathy Jones (30:19):
We as a couple have always, I think it naturally comes because we both have education backgrounds, so it’s always been very important for us to educate our children, our teens, our young adults. So educate, expose, but bring them back in, expose them to things, but bring them back in and provide examples. So educate, expose, provide examples rather than indoctrinate. And that’s just such a hard thing. Sometimes it’s easy to just say, okay, this is the way it is, but we put so much work, so much conversation into those three areas rather than just telling our kids this is the way it is. And that puts us in a position where our hearts need to be in a place of readiness at all times.
Dr. Matt Jones (31:16):
And availability.
Cathy Jones (31:18):
Readiness and availability for sure.
Dr. Matt Jones (31:21):
I hope I’m answering your question here, Katie, and if I’m not, steer me back in, but I think we as parents, as you guys have called this Upside Down Parenting Podcast, it’s recognizing that essentially our culture is not directing our kids in the way that we need to go. And I would just encourage, listen, you can’t be afraid to go against the culture. You cannot, and I’m kind of a rebellious type of person in my base. If the culture says it’s okay, I’m extremely skeptical. I’m extremely skeptical. And so sometimes admittedly, I overreact, but we cannot let our culture dictate not only how we answer the questions, but how we direct and guide our kids. There are truths.
Summit does a great job providing resources and direction. There’s some great books out there to say, hey, even though our culture is saying this, this is what’s real, corresponds to reality, according to scripture and what is true. And so I just want to encourage parents to, just because culture’s saying it’s okay, 90% of the time it’s not. And sometimes that’s even true in some of our Christian cultures, and we haven’t always taken things back to what’s true and reflect the grace and truth of Jesus Christ. So yeah, anything else to add on that? But thank you for the question. I hope that’s helpful.
Aaron Atwood (33:06):
Yeah. Katie, I’ve got a question for you. So I mean, you have a one-year-old at the beginning of the journey. What are some of the things that you’re worried about? And I’d love to hear from the Joneses how they would respond to that concern.
Katie Bergford (33:23):
Yeah, yeah, that’s great. Yeah. I think currently as I’m in the trenches of nap time and bottles just, it feels really busy. I think one of my worries is how can I continue to sharpen myself so that I am ready for those conversations? I think I see how it’s really easy to just get in the busyness of life, and I can see that only continuing to become more complex as we have more children and there’s just things that take up our time. And so I guess my worry is how can I ensure that my formation is still taking place so that I am ready for those conversations when they come up?
Cathy Jones (34:16):
So we fly a lot, and I love the point at which the, I don’t know the word now, the person that comes around, where does, flight attendant, flight attendant.
Dr. Matt Jones (34:30):
That’s right.
Cathy Jones (34:30):
When the flight attendant comes around and reminds those of us with children, not Matt, I’m pointing to him, but he’s not a child.
Dr. Matt Jones (34:37):
Anymore. Sometimes I am.
Cathy Jones (34:39):
But they remind us to put our oxygen mask on first before we put it on our child. And in most of life we’re thinking, no, I got to help my kid first. They just fell down. The bee stung them. What kind of additives are in this food? What’s going on if they don’t nap for the three hours that they’re supposed to? We’re so worried, and I find a lot, and I love it and I want to really capture that thought for you, Katie, that you need to put your oxygen mask on first before you can be available.
And to me, that’s your Bible reading. There will be time if you make that a priority, going to church, meeting with other moms, meeting with other couples, if those are a priority, if you decide that they are, the time will make itself. You do have to sacrifice other things. The time will be there. I don’t think we need self-care to where we’re going to the spa every week. That’s not putting your oxygen mask on, but what is it that feeds your heart and your body in such a way that you can love and minister to the children that God has given to you?
Dr. Matt Jones (35:59):
That’s great. I’ll be real brief, and you were great there. I think it comes down, Katie to saying, here’s what, because this was huge for Cat and I, because of some of the failures we’ve had as a couple, we had to sit down and we said, here’s our seven family priorities.
(36:19):
Here’s what we’re going to, and based on those seven family priorities, here’s what we’re going to say yes to. Here’s what we’re going to say no to, where it’s not the tyranny of the moment. It is, here’s what we value, here’s how we’re going to structure by the grace of God our lives, and whenever things come in, we have agreement among us. Here’s those seven things. Here’s what we’re going to say yes to. Here’s what we’re going to say no to. And taking care of one another so that we can take care of others as well. Great question, Katie. I can tell you’re one of my graduates. I’m just kidding, Aaron.
Aaron Atwood (36:56):
Shameless plug. Hey, I’m excited. My 18-year-old is coming to Colorado Christian next, well next school year. I’m excited that she’ll be in an environment with professors like you, Dr. Jones, thanks for being with us, Matt and Cat, it’s great to have you here. I’m just impressed over this time I’ve been thinking, okay, I need to be intentional, but being intentional does not mean I have to have all the answers. It doesn’t have to be scary. I can do something simple today to be intentional with my kids and help build into them just a biblical worldview.
And that’s what we want for all of our listeners to understand. You have the tools to do this. You can start simply, but be consistent. Just be consistent, do simple things. That’s what I was really impressed with today. So thank you for bringing that to our listeners. I hope they got a sense of relief that they don’t have to have all the answers, but they can do something.
(37:55):
And so that’s what we want from you. If you’re listening to the Upside Down Parenting Podcast, just know you’re not alone. We can do this together. We can push back against culture, and we can raise kids with a biblical worldview, what they do with it, that isn’t our responsibility that is on them, but we can do the best we can with what we have right now.
So if you’ve enjoyed this conversation, I just encourage you to like and subscribe, tell others about it so that we can keep providing the kinds of content that you’ve heard today and the other episodes. I hope you listen to all of them. Thanks for being with us, everybody, and we’ll see you next time on the Upside Down Parenting podcast with Summit Ministries.
Katie Bergford (38:34):
Hey friends, it’s Katie. I’m excited to share that we’re working on some incredible new episodes of the Upside Down Parenting podcast. In a couple of weeks, we’ll be diving into your real life questions about raising the next generation. We’ll be interviewing leading Christian thinkers and exploring what it means to engage today’s culture with grace and truth and helping our kids prepare to do the same.
Be sure to follow up on social media, Instagram, X, Facebook, where we’ll be collecting your questions. These upcoming episodes are packed with practical insight, biblical wisdom, and encouragement for families who want to follow Jesus in a world that often runs the other way. So make sure that you’re subscribed, spread the word, and get ready to join us on July 31st as we discover what it looks like for both us and our kids to live out Jesus’s upside down kingdom and stand firm in a biblical worldview.
Dr. Jeff Myers (39:25):
Hey, it’s Dr. Jeff Myers from Summit Ministries. How confident are you in talking with your kids about gender? Because it’s more than just transgenderism and sexuality. We need to help our young adults become confident in who God made them to be as young men and women. So Dr. Kathy Koch and I recently have authored a book called Raising Gender Confident Kids. It equips you with the tools that you need to help your children navigate these turbulent waters.
When Dr. Kathy and I wrote this book, we decided to focus on giving a biblically based approach to helping teach kids the truth about who God made them to be. We show you how you can be compassionate, promote hope and truth, and in the process understand the cultural challenges and how they’re affecting our own kids. What we want is to nurture confident, secure boys and girls to become godly young men and women. So even if transgender has not been a big part of the conversation in your home, this book is a must read.
If you’re committed to discipling children to embrace their design that was given to them by God, you can get your free copy of Raising Gender Confident Kids today at genderconfidentkids.com.